Let's get the introductions out of the way

Welcome, welcome.

Let’s jump right in to the spark that lit the fire that will be this blog. Hey, I’m Marette (as my Stellenbosch people call me) or Ray (as my American people call me) and I’m a South African living in the States.

I’ve always been a fairly independent girl.

Nah, that would be putting it lightly - I’ve always been fiercely independent, in fact, it’s one of my core values. All my life I have been surrounded – cocooned one might even call it - by a web of people who support me & my endeavours, even when I don’t want it ("Mom, PLEASE, you're embarrassing me!"). But this year, in an effort to be independent and to escape this web of people who collectively know everything there is to know about me, I moved to a different continent. By myself. To figure out who I was and what I wanted when I wasn’t influenced by all their expectations.

What was the sitch back home?

Back in Stellies I was an Industrial Psychology student, a hip-hop teacher, and a personal trainer. To summarise it succinctly: I was sleep-deprived.

Let me catch you up on my 20s so far.

I studied Industrial Psychology at Stellenbosch University. After a few years of feeling lost in my degree, I fell deeper and deeper in love with Psychology and ultimately decided to pursue it postgrad. I also worked as a hip-hop teacher for five years while studying (I've been dancing all my life). So, we have a 08:00-17:00 student with a 15:00-20:00 job (yes, that overlaps, I attended class…selectively). Now, throw a first serious boyfriend in there and mix. After the pandemic hit I also started training people, eventually got a personal training qualification, and started coaching at two separate gyms. I cannot stress this enough: no. sleep. ever.

After some struggles which are not imperative to this narrative, I got accepted into SU’s Psychology Honours program. I finally moved out of my parents’ house, and broke up with the boy after three years. Big heartbreak. In my uni program I got assigned to a couples therapist as supervisor and spent the year, as luck and the sadistic universe would have it, researching why couples break up. More stress, less sleep. 24 was rough.

When my mind drifted to what I wanted to do after that year, only two things were clear: not this, and not here. If I had to have one more conversation about “what’s next?” while it felt like I was coming apart at the seams, if I had to run into my ex at the grocery store once more, if I had to discuss my life with my well-meaning support circle ONE MORE TIME I might have lost it. I moved to Stellenbosch at 15 and lived there for a decade. I experienced all my firsts there, good and bad. I just wanted a break. I just wanted some sleep.

So I went away. Far away. Alone. Where no one could pester me about “my future”. And that’s how I ended up here in Connecticut.

Who’s that girl now?

Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Join me on my journey of trying to figure out the world and my place in it (key word: trying). This blog is essentially a content dump relating to relocating, au pairing, and navigating life in your 20s. Expect the organised* thoughts of an over-thinker. Also expect the foreign adventures of a 25-year-old with too much time on her hands (but never enough money). Welcome to the circus.

*thank you, Ritalin